Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Music Jokes -> The Beatles

Jokes about The Beatles from the largest music humor site on the web. Check out the index for other performers we have jokes about.

Help! [UK] album at

How can you tell if you have an authentic Beatles shirt? When it has a Ringo round the collar!

- Submitted by: david sowards

Heard about the new Beatles album? They've gone all Drum 'n' Bass...

I really hope The Beatles don't try and reunite like all these other veteran rock bands... They'd only be half the band they used to be!

- Submitted by: Robert D. Arndt Jr.

If the Beatles were from Hawaii... What would they have called their song, "Hello Goodbye?"

- Submitted by: Ernest

It must be lonely for Ringo being the only original Beatle alive.
.....First it was Paul then John and now George.

It seems as though the Beatles are dying in the wrong order.

- Submitted by: GeorgeW

King John and King George ruled England, King Paul ruled Greece, And King Ringo ruled the Drums!

- Submitted by: Megan

My dad is obsessive compulsive about his vinyl and owns every single Beatles record except for one.. I think he needs Help.

- Submitted by: Ernest

One good thing about Lennon not reaching old age; he didn't become old, withered, and wrinkly like McCartney.

- Submitted by: BeatlesFan9

Paul: Why don't you just quit and live in an "Cctupus's Garden", Ringo? John: Yeah! And take you're "Yellow Submarine" with you! George: "Boys", let's say "Good Night" and leave him to pack his things! Ringo: Sure, but I'll only do it "With a Little Help From My Friends"... (Don't worry, I LOVE Ringo!)

- Submitted by: beatlesfan99

Q: Did you hear about the Beatles re-union tour?
A: The shows were good but there was no John

Q: There was a ghost a talented guy from the band the beatles and an old lady. There was also a penny in the middle of the road. Who got the penny first? A:The old lady.Because a ghost doesnt exist and neither does a talented guy from the band the beatles!

- Submitted by: Elly

Q: What does Yoko Ono and Ethiopians have in common? A: They both live off of dead Beatles!

Q: What were the worst words ever said in rock and roll?
A: How about we let Ringo sing one.

- Submitted by: Steve

Q: What would be necessary to reunite the Beatles?
A: A gun and two bullets

Q: Which Beatle had the biggest penis?
A: Best, Peter

Teacher: Use "Beetles" in a sentence. Student: "By George," said Paul. "John's lost his Ringo."

- Submitted by: Silly Steve

What did George Harrison say to his guitar while it gently weeped?
Don't Fret.

- Submitted by: Johnny Rabon

What did the Beatles say during the avalanche? Watch out for the Rolling Stones!

- Submitted by: Don Mansfield

What do you call a man who hangs out with a lot of musicians? Ringo Starr!

- Submitted by: Paul

What is John Lennon’s favorite time? 9:10 because it’s one after 909.

- Submitted by: Emma Green

What's the best "bug repellent" for your front porch? "Beatles" music; the other insects can't tolerate the noise, and they stay away from your porch.

- Submitted by: Jeff Williams

What’s the difference between the Beatles and the Beach Boys? The Beach Boys aren’t animals.

- Submitted by: BrilliantJ8

When George Harrison weeps, who else weeps? His guitar.

- Submitted by: BrilliantJ8

When did Paul McCartney write 'Silly Love Songs'
A. 1962-2005

Why was it so quiet at Beatles concerts?
Because they played like crickets.

- Submitted by: Renee Sutton

Why won't hipsters listen to the Beatles until Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney die? Because they only want to listen to the Beatles when they're underground

- Submitted by: Ernest

With all the drug use going on in the 60's, it's a wonder none of The Beatles were found lying dead in bed. Unless, of course, you count the flowerbed in front of the Dakota.

- Submitted by: Anonymous

New entries in this section are currently reviewed by Brian Kelly. Previous editors (if any) are listed on the editors page.


Would you like to Submit a Music Joke We're always looking for more entries.


Disclaimer: makes no claims to copyright of jokes permitted, only their presentation. All jokes are assumed to be public domain.