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Song Parodies -> "Lost Kinescope Rescue"

Original Song Title:

"Misty Island Rescue"

Original Performer:

Some kids

Parody Song Title:

"Lost Kinescope Rescue"

Parody Written by:

George&GermaineBriantFan

The Lyrics

Remember that 1951 episode of the game show “Beat the Clock” that featured 300 Boy Scouts? The one with the elephant and something about “terrific cheesecake”? Yes, that one. It kind of had a Western feel to it, honestly. I would tell you where you can buy it on DVD...except that I cannot, because there is no surviving kinescope. But in this song parody, we have a fictional family that is on the lookout for the kinescope of a broadcast with a Western feel to it. And what is a song that has a Western feel to it? “Misty Island Rescue” from Thomas & Friends. So join this fictional family and their search for the greatest moment in television history, regardless of whether they are successful or not.
Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!
(Here we go!!)
Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!
(Here we go!!)
With Boy Scouts all a-shouting,
This show, we need to find it,
Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!
(Here we go!!)

Let’s search in the attic, one by one,
(One by one!)
Then search in the basement, one by one,
(One by one!)
Then we’ll search in storage,
The rescue is in motion,
We’ll search through the country, one by one!
(One by one!)

300 Boy Scouts,
They’re on this kinescope,
All excited by “Roxanne”...
Don’t stop if we reach dead ends,
We’ll make some collector friends,
Today...
Help in every way! (Whoo!)

Talk about this broadcast every day!
(Every day!)
Look for this lost broadcast every day!
(Every day!)
If you have a copy,
Don’t treat it like a floppy,
Send us this lost broadcast right away!
(Right away!)

300 Boy Scouts,
They’re on this kinescope, (Whoo!)
All excited by “Roxanne”...
Don’t stop if we reach dead ends,
We’ll make some collector friends,
Today...
Help in every way! (Whoo!)

Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!
(Here we go!!)
Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!
(Here we go!!)
With Boy Scouts all a-shouting,
This show, we need to find it...

Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!
(Here we go!!)
Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!
(Here we go!!)
Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!
(Here we go!!)
Lost kinescope rescue... (Whoo!)

...Here we go!!!

(Everyone cheering)
Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   2
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User Comments

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Richard Glennan - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
This is to add some extra information regarding the whereabouts of this “lost” show. I saw a recording of this episode at a friend’s house around 1998, and took notes of the show. The kinescope started about 15 seconds late and at least one commercial was cut out, but otherwise was mostly complete. Everything that you described in your entries, from the elephant stunt to the “cheesecake” line was extant. The friend who had this kinescope said that it came from the family of one of the Boy Scouts that appeared on the show. He explained that this was done for two other Scout member’s families, and he had seen one of them. I haven’t talked with this friend in several years, but last I heard he still had a copy of this program (this would have been around 2019). If you want me to see if I can make a transfer of this show, please let me know and I’ll see what can be done. Best regards, Rich Glennan.
George&GermaineBriantFan - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
I almost fell out of my chair when I read this. YES! Please have a transfer of this show made ASAP, then upload it online. Do you realize what a holy grail your friend has? It’s likely the only known copy left in existence; a breakthrough like this is pretty much unprecedented. Please share with us some of your notes that you made of the recording. How have you never mentioned this online before? I’d like to know what other absurd lines were included or any other stunts that were done that night; I only know of two. You have a truly historic moment in your hands. I hope you do the right thing and share it with us all. Thank you!
Rich Glennan - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
Okay, I will see if I can contact my friend this evening and see if he’s up to it. He found it, by the way, in the basement of his father-in-law, Paul Burtnett, who appeared on this show. He also said that Burtnett identified 12-year-old (not eleven) Frederick Shannon as the boy who said the “cheesecake” line. Paul is still alive at 86. There was at least one stunt that involved “Roxanne”, which involved a take on first dates. The 300 Scouts swarming the stage was preceded by a bugle call and has a brief shot of the audience. In honor of the show’s new timeslot, which started two weeks earlier, an award was presented by Paul Small, a jazz vocalist of the late 20s/early 30s. This broadcast occurred on March 24, 1951. To be honest, I had no idea that anyone else was looking for this program. If I had been aware of your interest in it, I would have contacted you earlier. I see you did a post on the Internet Archive explaining what info you had discovered about it, but I have no doubt you didn’t have access to anything beyond a basic Google search. If I am able to have a transfer of the show made, then I will determine how I put it online.
George&GermaineBriantFan - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
Thank you. I don’t have the words to explain how grateful I am to you for doing all this. And the fact that you know one of the surviving Scouts from this show is even more amazing. Please have an interview with Paul Burtnett ASAP. Ask if he is aware of any other survivors. Or better yet, lead Paul to this website and we can all ask him our own questions, hopefully with him being able to answer them on his own. Tears are falling from my eyes, I can’t wait to see this program.
Asking for a friend - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
What were the names of the scouts that participated in stunts in the show? How did the cheesecake line go down? What happened to the other copies? Explain if Paul Burnett was an expert on this show.
Rich Glennan - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
The Scouts that participated in the six stunts were: Albert Burtnett (Paul’s older brother), Russell Carlstrom, (1st stunt) Wilfred Stum, Robert Goode, (balloons & shoestrings) Danny McCarthy, Sam Pollack, Herbert Harley, (elephant), Sam Pollack, Phillip Olsen (4th stunt), Russ Carlstrom, Frederick Shannon, Walter Johnson (kissing Roxanne/giving flowers); and lastly, Wilfred Stum and Danny McCarthy (6th stunt). The “terrific cheesecake” line occurred during the fifth stunt, and not when Roxanne’s picture was taken at the very end. My friend was aware of at least two other copies of the show but only saw one of them. I assume both are already gone. And in a way, Paul was (and still is) an expert on the show. When his parents asked for a copy of the program, they requested a list of all the 300 Scouts that appeared on the show. Last I heard he still had it. I will send that to you as well, and make of it what you will.
Arch Vile - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
You “saw this show” from whom? Clarify something for us: exactly how did you get to witness a show that supposedly has been lost for nearly 75 years? If you were already aware of it in 1998, why didn’t you make a transfer then? And we’re supposed to believe that your friend’s father in law is an expert on this broadcast and has a list of every scout that attended the show? Lastly, where is the evidence that the “cheesecake” line (if it even happened) was said by a 12 year old, a jazz vocalist presented an award, or that the date you gave us is even correct?
Rich Glennan - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
So this evening I contacted my friend who showed me the episode 25 years ago. He says he still has the kinescope but it’s in his basement and he’s too busy to go through it right now, but his son is coming over tomorrow and is gonna try to locate it. When it’s found, he says that I can have it and make a transfer from it. I am not a liar. I witnessed this show with my own eyes and wrote down notes about it that only someone who could have witnessed the actual footage would know about. Furthermore, my friend’s father in law, Paul Burtnett, who is 86, not only attended the broadcast, but his brother (also a scout) participated in a stunt as well. He has a list of all 300 scouts that appeared on the show, which was distributed by the local Boy Scout troop in New York City. Paul’s parents asked for a copy of the program, which was a secondhand copy from the master kinescope recorded at CBS. At least two other parents of Boy Scouts requested copies as well (though they are missing). He still has his picture of “Roxanne” that was taken at the end of the show and distributed to the 300 scouts. I have talked with Paul several times about this and can bring him onto this website so you can hear from him himself. He knows about the Internet and can use it well, so don’t try to claim that he’s not gonna come on here and make his case. The date of this broadcast has been verified through at least a dozen letters of correspondence plus the kinescope recording, none of which have been posted online before. I watched the kinescope three times to determine as much info as I could from the broadcast, which led to eight pages of handwritten notes. The broadcast still exists and will be transferred as soon as it is located. I hope that once and for all this will dispute the show’s “lost” status.
AmIRight Voice of Reason - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
Do we really have to go through this obsession all over again?

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